15 Ancient Hangover Cures

Let’s go over some of the most ancient hangover cures known to man.

Since the beginning of time, people have been getting absolutely loaded. The following morning these people would suffer from the total buzzkill ailment known as a “hangover.”

People have been trying to find solutions for as long as there have been hangovers. Unfortunately, despite having this problem since around 7700 BCE, the task has been met with modest success. 

15 Ancient Hangover Cures

Here are some of the ancient cures we’ve discovered, thanks to the greatest minds in the universe of booze.

1. TREE SAP & BIRD BEAKS

Suppose people felt hungover in the ancient Assyria region, which includes today’s Syria and parts that comprised Iraq, Iran, and Turkey. They would grind the bird’s beaks and combine them in myrrh, the fragrant resin from the Commiphora tree, and then eat it. 

Myrrh is usually used in perfumes and as a tincture, but not in its strong resin form. Therefore there’s a chance that eating it will be much better than suffering from the effects of a hangover. 

Assuming you can get past the smell of a bird’s beak.

2. PICKLED SHEEP’S EYEBALLS

Many cultures recommend eating pickled foods to treat hangovers. For example, in Poland, it is recommended to consume pickle juice straight up. However, the Mongols of the time, Genghis Khan, took it one step further by recommending the consumption of breakfast comprising two sheep’s eyes that had been pickled. The alleged cure is still in use across the country; however, nowadays, they drink glasses of tomato juice and call it the “Mongolian Mary.”

3. LIVING YOUR SWEAT

Certain Native American tribes believed that “sweat and swishing” was the only way to eliminate an unpleasant hangover. You should go to the gym and exercise the following morning; after your workout, take a lick of the toxins your body releases and swish them inside your mouth. 

Supposedly, you must spit out your sweat to make the cure work. If you swallow it, it won’t work…

4. SNORTING TREE IVY-JUICE

If you were looking to get rid of a hangover in 17th-century England, the herbalist and author Nicholas Culpeper would advise: “stuffing the nasal passages with the juice of the tree ivy.”

The author also made a profession of making a case for ailments and diseases in astrology, so you might want to consider taking all the things he said with caution.

5. ARMPITS OF LEMON

Some would-be drinkers on the island of Puerto Rico choose to prevent their hangovers by rubbing a piece of lime or lemon into their armpits before drinking the night’s booze. However, some versions say you should only rub it on one side of your “drinking arm.” The reason for this is that it’s believed to help keep your body well-hydrated.

6. PRAIRIE OYSTERS

Introduced in 1878 at the Paris World Exposition, this recipe has nothing to do with traditional oysters or, presumably, the prairies. Instead, it’s a raw egg inside shot glasses, with whisky and Tabasco. Certain variations include vinegar or Worcestershire sauce.

7. FRIED CANARY

The early Romans were very adamant about their long-running celebrations, and from Pliny the elder, we can see that they loved to cook a canary in a pan and then eat it as breakfast after a late evening bender. (Raw eggs of owls and sheep’s lungs are another Roman brunch item that helped beat hangovers.) So, this is the reason they named the beer after his life.

8. RABBIT DUNG

The people of those days in the American West thought that if you went out, collected some rabbit poop, made tea from them, and consumed the tea, the hangover would disappear. In reality, rabbit poop is a source of salts and nutrients, such as potassium. However, nowadays, you could likely eat a banana or something else to the same effect.

9. SELLING YOURSELF IN WET SAND

Irish legend states that to rid yourself of hangovers, the best thing to do is take a trip to running water in nature and submerge yourself until your neck is wet with river sand. The theory is that it can chill you and stimulate your blood circulation, similar to taking a shower. Unfortunately, no explanation is given as to why river sand has more curative power than ocean sand.

10. COCA-COLA AS WELL AS MILK

In the 30s and 40s, the hotel Ritz-Carlton, located in New York City, served guests who had been through the blitz a glass of Coca-Cola and milk. The head bartender stated that once someone had the drink, they would “take some time to relax, and then you’ll feel great.”

11. SKULL DUST & DRIED VIPER

In 17th century England, the physician Jonathan Goddard sold a product known as Goddard’s Drops that consisted of human skulls dipped in powder dry viper “spirit of hartshorn” that is now known as ammonia. It wasn’t just any skull that could be used, however. It was required to be that of a person who was just hanged. King Charles II, was adamant about the use of these skulls.

12. HIGHLAND FLING

For long periods in the past, the Scots have used this unique recipe to ease the next day’s hangover: Mix a little of the corn starch (known as corn flour in the UK) into a glass of buttermilk, warm it and then sprinkle it with pepper and salt and then sip it. The drink connects with the dance that was very popular during the 1890s.

13. BULL PENIS SOUP

The bull penis soup is the official hangover cure in Bolivia. It’s also pretty extravagant to look at, considering that the penis is served as a whole, and they are typically about a foot and a half in length. Once the penis is simmered in a thick, concentrated broth for around 10 hours, bits of beef, lamb chicken, and boiled eggs are added together with potatoes and rice. The dish is also thought of as an aphrodisiac. It is also believed to relieve back pain too.

14. VINEGAR On THE TEMPLES

A helpful tip from the 19th-century Medical Advisor to deal with hangovers: consume an alcohol-based lot of vinegar and rub some on your temples. If this doesn’t work for you, it suggests you strip naked and then pour the water into a bucket over your head.

15. RAW EELS

The most popular cure during Medieval Europe was raw Eels to eat for breakfast. Also, for Portugal especially, the most common hangover treatment was to consume an entire lamprey boiling in wine and blood of its own.